hello new year.

I was awake really early today. I couldn't sleep. I had a few things on my mind, a few things on my shoulders and a few things on my heart and I just couldn't seem to shake any of them off. This WordPress thing is really bothering me. I enjoy WP a lot but what's the point if it won't let me in to my own account? I dunno. It's something to do with my computer actually. I can access WP from my mom's house, just not mine. Pointless. I don't really want to switch back to blogger, but at least blogger is consistent. I can't take this not working for a week out of each month. O-well. It's just blogging right?


I like new beginnings. In fact, you could even say that I enjoy them. Yes, I quite enjoy new beginnings. I enjoy Monday mornings, a new month, a new season, a new book (a good read or an empty journal), a freshly cleaned home, a new project, a new skill...the list goes on and on. I'm sure you can understand why I enjoy a clean slate; so many possibilities, new horizons, new adventures, new thoughts. One has the opportunity to commit, to move on, to change, to adjust, to advance. Obviously all of these things can be done at any given opportunity; you don't have to wait for a brand new journal in order for you to write your thoughts down, but when you've got that brand new journal in your hands and you see all of the blank lines and feel that crispness of the pages...by golly, it just stirs something in me. And if I feel that way about a Monday morning I'm sure you can just imagine the excitement I feel over a new year...nay, a new decade! Oh my.
I am excited about this year and this new beginning, glad to be putting 2009 behind me and starting fresh in a few areas. Personally, I've always enjoyed a good New Years resolution or two so naturally I started assessing myself a few weeks ago to see if I couldn't come up with a few things that could be done better/differently/more often/not at all in 2010. The first thing was quite obvious and required very little effort on my part to come up with...I guess we could say that it was just staring me in the face.
1) To harness the song writing abilities of Tom Waits, Matt Good, Feist and Sarah Harmer, combine them all to form a strange new genre of music and become a singing sensation. Easily done. I should have that mastered by February 12th. Easy peasy.
The others were a bit more difficult to come up with because, well, there just isn't that much I need to work on. Hey, I'm 26...I've got life figured out already! (haha...ha...ha...ugh).
2) Continue, with a little more vigor, to become a tidier/more organized person.
3) Try harder to stick to my meal plan. Life is just soooo much easier when I'm on it.
4) Be more creative. Now I know this one is a bit weird because I'm already crafty but I'm a much happier and calm person when I flex my creative muscle and I need to be more intentional doing it.
5) Try my hand at more garment construction. I think that I just need to jump in with both feet on this one. I've been shying away from sewing technical clothing for fear of failure *side note: this is quite common with me. actually, it affects pretty much every aspect of my life. i'm what they call a self-sabotager (that's not a real word btw). i tend to cripple myself.* but the more I sew the more I'm going to understand the technical side of things, so I just need to do it!

And that's all. I have a few others, you know, the common ones that most people make so I'll just keep them to myself. The problem that I face when I get excited about new beginnings is that I get my hopes up. I start thinking, "Maybe this will be the year that_____(fill in the blank)." I try not to but I think it's just how I'm wired. I'm like that with almost everything. I've tried to keep my New Year's resolutions simple and straight forward (except for that first one, I'm really shooting for the moon on that one), kind-of adding to the things that I'm already doing. They aren't much of a stretch and they seem fairly attainable to me.

Anyways, that's all for now. Sorry about the switching back and forth between blog hosts. If I can get WP working for good on my computer then I'll probably stay over there, but for now we're back over here. Hope you all had a great holiday and a happy new year!

goodbye blogger.

I've been admiring a few Wordpress blogs for about a year now, impressed with their clean look and spiffy options. More recently though, two of my friends have moved over to Wordpress from Blogger and so I too am making the switch. I've been secretly working on my blog for a little while but I still have no clue how to work their high-tech system. I'm learning though and feedback or suggestions will be very welcome.

So...I hope to see you over there and if I end-up hating Wordpress then I'll see you back over here:)

Take Care.

Bob The Builder.

James had this fab idea of taking one of our under-the-bed bins and filling it with play sand for the kids. Seriously...best idea ever. They've already spent hours just sitting there and playing, and apparently singing. Too cute. (sorry for the bad quality of video, my camera was in a bad mood)

things i was able to pack into the 24 hours without the kids.

(in order)

1. Make myself a massive (somewhat gluttonous) lunch without the kids eating half of it.

2. Watch Fashion Television without having to listen to Curious George in the background.

3. Lounge around on my bed reading my Hobby Farms magazine with peace and quiet.

4. Have a bath without Rhys asking what time it is.

5. Get ready to go out without breaking up a fight over a toy.

6. Buy a big bag skittles without having to buy something for the kids...or having to deal with them crying for candy.

7. Go and see a non-kid friendly movie (Couples Retreat).

8. Buy a bottle of wine.

9. Stay up late without having to worry about getting up at the crack of dawn.

10. Slept well past the crack of dawn.

11. Get ready in peace again :)

12. Go out for a breakfast buffet and actually carry on a conversation with my husband without being interrupted a million times.

13. Write goals for our next two years without being interrupted a million times.

14. Drive in the truck without having to explain the itinerary for the whole day (something which Rhys has become obsessed with).

15. Go to Chapters and spend an hour quietly looking at books without having my limbs torn off of my body in different directions.

16. Get overly excited to see the kids on our way to pick them up.

♥

I'm having a lot of trouble trying to come up with words to describe these past five years of my life. They've been crazy years full of things that I never imagined would happen to us, or at least not in our first years of marriage. Life has taken us down some seemingly random roads full of sharp twists and turns, some good and some, well, let's call them character building. Marriage is not what I expected. I expected a long honeymoon stage. I expected us to find great jobs where we got paid a decent amount of money so that we could buy a cute house (one that wasn't a fixer-upper). I expected us to have lots of time to hang out with friends and go on fun trips with other couples, or just the two of us...because we would be able to pick and choose. I expected us to think about having kids when we were 26, which would give us enough time to build a solid foundation and save up some money. I expected us to have enough money to buy nice wines and expensive cheeses which we would consume together all curled up on our fashionable sofa sharing about our days and joking about our co-workers. Sounds a little fairytale-ish? Yup. I have this thing where I get my hopes up and I have all of these high expectations that I put on myself, others, situations, anything really, only to have them all dashed and disappointed. Because who can really live up to all of that? Who really gets that life? I suppose some people do, but they are few and far between. Yes, I think that the one word that I would use to sum-up these five years of marriage would be unexpected. I didn't expect to get pregnant two months after being married. I didn't expect to be a mom at 21. I didn't expect us to go through this many jobs, including two layoff's. I didn't expect us to live in five different places within four years. I didn't expect to have my second child at 24. I didn't expect us to have to find a new church, and essentially a whole new community. When I stop and thing about it I could pretty much say anything that has happened since we've been married was not even close to what I had pictured. This sounds like a real drag doesn't it? I suppose that I could look at it that way (and I have to admit that there are moments when I'm feeling overwhelmed that I do) but I like to think that God has put all of this on our plate because, for some reason, God thinks that we can handle it and He's choosing to build our character. If I had gotten the marriage that I was expecting sure it would have been easy, but it wouldn't have caused me to look deeper into myself to find strength and faith and patience and love. I like to think that I'm much more of the woman and wife that God wants me to be because of all of the craziness that has happened to us.

So here's to five unexpected years of marital bliss....I mean craziness.

silly boy.

*out of nowhere*

Rhys: "But I don't see God."

Bria: "Are you thinking about God right now?"

Rhys: "Yeah, I want to ask him if this is a hay bail tractor or not."

winnipegger in training.

ruffle scarf.

So I was drooling over the Anthropologie website today, wishing that I had tons of money to spend in that store (wishing that there was an Anthro store in Winnipeg actually), when I realized that I had some cozy fabric kickin' around and that I could easily make my own ruffle scarf. Fifteen minutes later...Presto! My Anthropologie inspired fall scarf. I already have an order in for another one (although it will be a mini-version of mine for the mini-me that lives in the house). Don't you just love it? My only regret is that it should be about 2 feet longer...and it was, until I ruffled it.

*yes, i do look weird in the picture. my kids were yelling at me to make them lunch and i decided to ignore them and take a picture to put on my blog instead.

7:00 am.

There are times when I feel really bad about being a SAHM. James runs out the door first thing in the morning and works non-stop, sometimes through lunch, and gets home late to provide for us while I just stay home...all day, every day. There are days where this really bothers me, I feel like I should be doing more or pushing myself harder to take on more things or get a better education so I can help out too. I have these moments where I buy into the unspoken 'you're not really that successful if you just stay home with your kids' mentality that has invaded our society.
This morning, however, was not one of those moments. The kids wanted to have a cuddle on the couch before we started our day, something that doesn't happen often enough. Rhys brought over a pencil and piece of paper and started writing out his numbers. Amelia sat looking through her Peter Rabbit books and I sipped my coffee. It was a wonderful moment because I felt as though I was contributing to my kids in a way that making more money never ever could. I was giving them my time, my attention, my cuddles, my counting skills, and they were getting mom all to themselves.

hello october.

Well, it's October. All of my fretting and complaining didn't make a difference to our ticking clock, it just kept going. We may as well kick off the month on the right note so here's an adorable song for you to listen to. Hope you like it!

goodbye september.

While I usually find myself excited for the arrival of October, eager for the crisp weather requiring cozy knits and Pumpkin Spice Lattes I instead find myself wondering where the heck September went? I seriously have no idea and I actually feel robbed of a whole month. Please tell me I'm not the only one feeling this way!??! Apparently the whole month snuck right past me while I was enjoying the lingering heat and adjusting my household to include one more. October is wonderful. October is fabulous. October is my favorite month out of the whole year...I'm just not ready for it! I usually spend September gearing up for October. October means digging through stacks of Rubbermaid bins to find all of the fall/winter clothing that I didn't get around to organizing into just one bin and instead dispersed it into anything that had room enough to spare. October means starting my Christmas gift making if I hope to have another handmade Christmas. October means cleaning up the yard that I was just getting used to spending time in. October means gearing up for a Halloween sugar-induced coma in November which requires one to stockpile toilet paper and canned goods so as not to sink too far into filthy slobishness (i think i just made up a word). October means beginning the heartache of seeing my tan fade to pasty white after spending so long trying to procure it. Sigh. And after all of this you're left wondering why I love October...and I do love October. I just usually spend September dealing with all of the frustration of seeing our warm weather slip away and by the end of the month I come to terms with the situation we find ourselves in in this northern climate and am ready for all of the loveliness of autumn to begin. But no, not this year. September got away on me and only this morning did I realize that tomorrow is October and that I have not done any preparation what-so-ever except in printing off a recipe for a homemade pumpkin spice latte which I suppose is all one really needs to do to prepare for fall. Ugh. Someone tell me they are in the same boat!

prunella and i.

Meet my new purse.

I started making my new purse today and I was so excited about it that I even finished making my new purse today.

Actually, Prunella did most of the work and I just helped out here and there.

I'm very happy with how it turned out.
Especially the green flower.

oh, go read a book!

Well, that's just what we did. Rhonda (my sister-in-law who lives 3 streets over) invited the kids and I to hop on the bus with them and head on down to the library. I haven't actually been to the Millennium Library since it was re-opened so it was a nice treat, that and the weather was unbelievable today! Considering I have a library fine of $50 left over from high school I tend to avoid the whole 'book-borrowing' scene...who needs free books anyways? I actually enjoyed reading all of the huge books to the kids (Robert Munsch is always a favorite) while Rhonda looked for potty training inspiration. I may have to come back when we are in the pit of winter weariness and are in need of some new scenery. They've even got a coffee shop, count me in!

king of the castle.

So I made Rhys a castle today cuz, you know, who needs to spend 150 bones on the Schleich one when you have a perfectly good, albeit old diaper box, some toilet paper rolls and some construction paper! "Not I!"
I don't really know what I was thinking though, sure it turned out great and he hasn't stopped playing with it all day, but who in their right mind makes their toddler a castle at 7:30 in the morning! Don't do it! It's not a good idea! If you're ever tempted...just don't! Someone slap me. I need to re-think this time management thing. Sure it was a good thought to make the super-cool castle first thing in the morning so that the 'spirited' four-year-old has something to do all day...but one doesn't actually follow through. I couldn't figure the stupid thing out for the life of me and I ask you...WHAT IS THERE TO FIGURE OUT??? It's four walls with some toilet paper rolls stuck on the corners! There. That's it! But no, I was trying to do math and math and I don't get along on the best of days, and then I wanted to make a draw-bridge, and then I thought a little matching village would be fun....well, I simply don't go through enough toilet paper to facilitate the building of a whole village so we just stuck with the castle (and a few trees). Anyways, all my silliness aside, it was actually a fun project and Rhys is really happy that he now has a home for all of the knights that he got for his birthday.

getting better.

Today I made Zucchini Bran muffins, Corn Chowder, Rice Pudding and Biscuits. I did the laundry, cleaned up toys and had my sister-in-law over so the kids could all play together. I did dishes and read over some recipes that I'd like to try out. I also checked Facebook twice, read the Free Press website and looked up some craft ideas. I accomplished all of this while caring for three toddlers.

...I think that I'm getting better at time management.

things i've been able to accomplish while avoiding facebook for the week.

1. Upcyle my shirt (see previous post).

2. Go to the Walk-In Clinic and wait for 2.5 hours to see a doctor for 5 seconds.

3. Take the kids to the park.

4. Make a monster batch of cookies.

5. Read 6 McLean's magazines (I happen to really enjoy this magazine and if anyone would like to bless me with a subscription for my birthday {Oct.13th} I would promise to love you forever).
6. Convince Rhys to get a haircut.
7. Prep the kitchen for James to paint it.

8. Visit the local thrift store and buy a bunch of fabric, a table runner, two tank tops and a whole pile of children's books for $4.
9. Exercise 5 times.
10. Take the kids to play with their cousin's on two occasions.
11. Keep a way tidier house.
12. Successfully take care of three toddlers (meaning that they actually get fed and their bums actually get changed).
13. Overall feel like a better more useful human being.

upcycle.

I finally have a sewing space of my own! Ya-hoo! I'm so excited to be able to keep all of my sewing/craft things in one corner of the house and not have to haul them out every time I want to be creative. It makes a huge difference, believe me. Anywho, today was the first time that I actually used Prunella in her new space. I had a shirt that I had bought from VV a loooong time ago and I finally got around to taking it in. I totally understand that most people will think this is the ugliest shirt on the planet, but that's probably why I like it. I think it's cute. It was actually a maternity shirt so I had to take it in a whopping 8 inches on each side and now it fits like a glove. Yay for re-purposing and yay for my new space! I have big plans for my sewing area so I'll have to keep you posted as it evolves.

a bit of erskine life.

{this isn't ammie playing peek-a-boo, she's just mad}
{oooo, one girlfriend! *cough* i wonder who that is!}

{opening gifts at the birthday party. thanks to everyone who came

by the way, rhys had a blast!}

{it's julia...need i explain more? (and this is why we get along so well)}

{church picnic + bouncy castle = new heights of excitement}

{rhys trying to impress his lady friend}

{the erskine brothers were in charge of the meat...it's just so fitting.}

{a whole pile of veggies from my garden. all of the hard work pays off in the end}

and now he is 4.

Yet another year has flown by leaving me spinning around wondering where the time went. Rhys is four today! I can't believe it. I know it doesn't mean much when it's not actually your kid, but it's crazy. Seriously. I'm not going to do a mushy sentimental post this year (but if you want one you can go here and read last years) but I will say just this one thing...ready?...You know your son is four when he starts making fake moustaches and wearing them around the house. There. Happy Birthday Rhys!

hope.

So I've been rather absent from blogdom lately and for that I apologize. I truly feel bad for all of my faithful readers who stop by every day hoping to get yet another small glimpse into the crazed life of Bria, or a laugh at my expense, or a look at how weird my children are. Instead of being updated and entertained I've unjustly left you to watch 'Pasta Restaurant' over and over again. I'm just joking, I know that you don't stop by every day. Anyways, my blog has been fairly quiet this week because my mind has been the opposite and I fear that if I start typing I won't stop and then I'll say things that aren't ready or needing to be said. And so I've just kept my distance...until now. Here we go.

I had a friend come over the other day for a much needed heart-to-heart. I called her the day before to ask her if she could find some time to be with me while I wrestled with a few (many) heavy things. She came over the next morning and I must say that I feel blessed to have her in my life. Friends like her a much needed breath of fresh air. It turns out she had been praying for me and had been led to a specific verse so she decided to share it. The words rang true and ministered to exactly where I found myself at. The verse was Romans 5: 1-5 which says, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." ...

Hope does not disappoint us. Hope does not disappoint us. That line took my breath away and since that day I've been saying it over and over and over. Truth be told, I noticed my heart begin to change and grasp at this idea of hope before my friend shared this verse with me but when you are faced with the truth of scripture as it directly relates to what you are thinking and feeling in the depths of your being...man, it's like fireworks.

At a time where I should be writing about how the world is against me, I find myself writing about hope. Actually I find myself thinking about it, praying about it, and most of all trying to figure out how to live it. Hope has been swirling around in my mind and heart for a few weeks now and I've been slightly reluctant to open the can of worms.

As many of you know I've been fairly (read: insanely) stressed these past few months, and indeed these past few years. Life, for me, seems to be getting harder and harder and harder. Why has God brought me through this? Why is God allowing this or that or the other thing? I ask myself these questions day in and day out. It's not that my circumstances have become less...bleak (there are still many things that I have no clue what to do with), it's that I've begun to look at them in a different light and put my hope in the Lord and not in man. I'm not sure why God chose these past couple of weeks to perform a heart change in me but I'm glad that he did. I've started seeing God's blessing in my life, I've started seeing his hand at work, I've started running to him when I feel panicked or anxious. Part of this movement was brought on by listening to one of my favorite pastors from a church in the States talk about the book of Ruth. He spoke about God's invisible hand of providence, sanctified suffering, how Ruth was faithful and not foolish, how God is sovereign and good, how Naomi was brutally honest about where she was at, oh, there was so much more. (I suggest you just head on over there and listen to it! I posted a clip from the sermon a few posts back and you can access the whole sermon through that.)

I think that's what I'll leave you will today. I have a lot more to say and hopefully I was able to formulate my thoughts enough to convey where my heart is at. I honestly feel so strange for feeling all of this. It is against all odds (or at least it feels like it) that at the end of each day my heart has stayed intact and that my hope is in the hands of the Lord, and that, my friends, is because God wants to help, and He can, so He does.