Saturday, August 11, 2007
when the whole world is against you...
For the past few months I've had a very difficult time finding words to express what's going through my mind. I'm feeling so many things, from the insignificant to the extremely significant, the simple to the existential. When I open my mouth to try to make sense of everything, or when I start writing down my feelings, I'm usually left shaking my head in silence. It feels as though there aren't enough words to use...and the ones that I could use fall short. I have a whole galaxy of different thoughts and trying to pinpoint one seems an impossible task. Most of the time I simply find it easiest to throw my hands up and say, "I don't know". While this aggravates those around me, it also irritates me. I'm the one living with this mass confusion. Where do I start? How do I start? If only I could narrow this down, or somehow funnel it into a nicely slotted filing cabinet. Wouldn't that be peachy? Today has been total shit and it feels as though the whole world has conspired against me. And to top it off I'm wondering...Is God still faithful?
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2 comments:
ok, so here i go having to defend your fucking faith again. isn't god the one who's always faithful, why do you turn away? the whole world is not against you, you just choose to feel like it is. look around you, open your eyes. look at grass and trees and birds. see the beauty that is right in front of you and wake up. you aren't alone, you aren't the only one who feels like you do. do some yoga, meditate. read a book about robots, distract yourself until you feel better. but do not dwell or you will never be free of it. and yes, if you have to, go back on your medication!
(i'm sort of sorry i swore on your blog. kinda)
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