this & that

THIS

It seems as though I've fallen into yet another pit of emotion. Ugh. The ups and downs...I just can't take them. I wish it was all just up up up. (I'm sure that everyone knows one of those types of people who are always happy. They are always laughing, always chipper, full of life, full of energy. I usually shoot a few dirty glances at them because I just don't get it. I don't get it because I'm not one of them...how horrible is that? I shouldn't be mad at them because they're full of joy! I shouldn't be bitter. They aren't the problem, I'm the problem. I'm the one who needs to make changes.) I feel as though I've been at war with myself for the past week. This whole 'don't shop' thing has really made my head spin. It's hard to pull away from something that you've used as a crutch for so long. Not even just a crutch, I've used it to define part of who I am. I've found worth in it. Again, how horrible is that? Unfortunately I've been to the mall 3 times since I made the 'thrift for a year' goal. It's been good and bad. I haven't bought anything and I actually haven't even picked up an article of clothing! But I'll see a store that I love or clothes in a window and it's just as hard. I'll find myself 'ooooo-ing' and ahhhh-ing'. The next moment I'll notice how much people are consuming; clothing, food, stuff. Then I'll find myself 'ewww-ing' and 'ugh-ing'. I want to consume. I want more, bigger, better, nicer. I want to reduce. I want less, simpler, smaller. I want success. I want money, recognition, status. I want to be Godly. I want joy, wisdom, wholeness. I feel a pull both ways. Am I the only one who thinks about this on a daily basis?

THAT

On a lighter note...here are some pictures of what we've been up to this past week. I've been trying to keep the kids busy and we are trying to enjoy the summer as much as possible. The picture of Amelia's shoes is for Julia...I thought that you would get a kick out of them.